Chapter Eleven
I left the mountains behind me and walked down the trail looking forward to my next stop. The Bend. A small pub like place owned and operated by a man named Solomon Swear. A former judge, now turned eatery owner and sole staff member.
Down the trail and ‘round the bend, the plain wood building with no visible windows or doors was located in Monday and once I reached the building I circled around to the back as this is where the entrance was.
Creaking open the wooden door, I was met with a very different scene than I had on my previous visit.
Where upon entering last time, there had been no one there other than Solomon Swear himself, with a roaring fire in the huge fireplace, I was now met by the sight and sounds of twenty or more people, all appearing to be men or boys of different ages.
Several were seated around one of the wooden tables playing a game of cards with a pile of coins and other odd items piled in the center. Three were squeezed together playing, or should I say ‘plunking’ the piano in the corner, several were lined at the front counter talking loudly and slapping each other on backs and one appeared to be digging through the cold ashes in the before mentioned fireplace along with an ashy, gray, fluffy creature that resembled an opossum.
As the door slammed shut behind me several heads turned my way.
“Miss Smidge!” Exclaimed Captain Stockings, the sandy haired pirate and captain of the ship the ‘Red Feather’ that had given me a ride along the River Wednesday last year. Jumping from his stool to greet me, he bent to kiss both of my cheeks but I dodged sideways at the second cheek as I spied something dangling off of his hook mustache.
“Ah. Apologies Captain. Hello! Uh, it seems there is something resembling . . . ah . . fish, caught on your left hook.” I said pointing to his upper lip.
“Wha?! . . . Fish?” He sputtered, crossing his eyes to look down his nose and grasp at the foul smelling bit.
“How on Ewth did that get thewe?” He asked in an accent all his own. He pulled the bit of fish off, careful not to unglue the gold hook making up the left half of his mustache and examining it, called out “Hewwing? Why I haven’t had hewwing since . . . since,” he paused as realization dawned on him, “Boys! He’s bested us again! Foolewy! Aha that boy! Don’t you see? We had hewwing in Tuesday! Young Tom has got one ovah on me again and none of you cawed to point out that I’ve had fish hanging fwom my mustache since Tuesday? I should thwow the whole lot of you ovah boawd!” Said Captain Stockings shaking his fist at the crowd.
At this all of the boys started mumbling and shuffling their feet and a few murmurs of “Didn’t notice it Captain!” and “Only paying attention to our work Captain!” were audible.
“Ah. Navah mind that! Well done on Tommy’s pawt! We’ll get him next time sneaky fellow.” The captain chuckled turning back to his stool and settling himself onto it.
“Next time for sure Captain!” cried several of the boys.
“Was noticing an odor Captain. Glad it’s not the stockings!” Whispered a smaller fellow who’d stepped up next to Captain Stockings.
“Wight you awe Bootleg. Smelly stockings awe fowbidden on my ship! Although, you noticed an oduh you say? I wouldn’t have noticed myself with the awthwitis in my nose aftah the accident . . . ahh . . . that explains all the attention Posi Howid’s been giving me these past few days! I thought he’d gwown a new appweciation for piwating! Dwatted fly was only aftah a bit of fish!”
I set my bag down beside the door and walked closer to the bar at the back of the room where I shook hands with Solomon Swear and told him I had indeed brought some of my cinnamon buns for him this time but as I looked around the room I realized I did not have enough to share with everyone.
“It’s quite a surprise to see you all here!” I exclaimed “ I don’t know that I’ve met most of you.” I looked at all of the unfamiliar faces but spotted the two gnomes who were part of Captain Stockings’ crew aboard his ship. I gave a little wave to Jack and Jacques, who both grinned back, showing their gold teeth, and nodded their heads in greeting.
I felt something nudge my shoulder and looked down to see the young boy peering up at my ears. He shyly looked away and then scurried over to the captain and whispered “Captain, she smells nice and she has really clean ears!”
My hands went to my ears self consciously.
The captain smiled and patted him on the head and said “Thank you boy. Life is not the same without the ability to smell. And clean eaws awe definitely a wawity awound hewe!” Then he turned to me.
“We awe having a pwe - celebwation celebwation.” Said Captain Stockings. “We awe opening up a new dock fo the Wed Feathah. It’s to be just inside Thuwsday at the spot we usually unload the smashed china dishes aftah sailing the wivah. The gwound beneath the dock and bwidge awe now covewed in colowful china, making it a stunning sight, so we’ve finished wepaiwing the old dock and will cwisten it the new ‘China Powt.” The captain gave a little bow at this as if finishing a performance. “We’ve been making the wounds acwoss the land spweading the news and awe now finishing up with this little pawty befowe the big gwand celebwation of the opening of the dock.” He cleared his throat. “ Miss Justa Smidge, meet some of the boys fwom Wednesday! That one ovah thewe at the piano is Twiggy Banks. Tone deaf but mastah twee house buildah.”
A slim fellow with messy, black hair turned on the piano bench and gave me a wink.
“. . .and that one’s Wusty Tawnish. He’s a good dansah but needs to wash his socks mowe often if you ask me.” The captain gave a disapproving nod to a short, red haired, chubby man sitting at the end of the bar.
The red haired man climbed down off his stool and came to shake my hand.
“It’s Rusty Tarnish ma’am “ he said with a wink “and I do enjoy dancing but mainly I make boots. And wear them over my socks which is the real problem the captain has with me.” He smiled and went back to his stool.
“Ah, yes.” I smiled back at him with a knowing look. “I do know how the captain likes to show off his handsome stockings by displaying them over his boots.”
“You’ve met Jack and Jacques and Scally whewevah he’s gotten off to and I have no idea who the west of these fellows awe.” continued the captain. “They just follow me awound because I’m populah.” With that he sat back on his stool.
“And . . . you said there’d be cake.” Said a gruff looking man with a bald head, his arms covered in tattoos.
“Hello!” called out the young boy who had been behind the bar helping himself to a frosty mug of ginger beer. “I’m Bootleg.”
He was a slim boy with curly black hair and tanned skin smudged with dirt and ash and I realized he’d probably been the figure digging through the fireplace when I‘d first arrived. He was missing a leg and in its place was a wooden peg with a large leather boot attached.
The captain saw me eyeing the boot and cleared his throat. Putting a hand on the boys shoulder he said “Yes, yes, we can’t fowget ow own Bootleg. One of the finest piwates in Wednesday. Lost his leg on one of our hunts fo tweasuah.”
“I can tell it Captain.” The boy cut in with a squeak to his voice “I can tell the story now.”
“If you want to Bootleg. You tell Miss Smidge yo stowy.” The captain gave him a wink and sat back down on his stool.
The boy climbed up to the stool beside the captain and set his mug on the bar then began. “We were out hunting for treasure. One in particular called The Chest of Piqueno Arma. We found out later that means ‘Small Weapon’. It was thought to be hidden behind the great waterfall on the far side of the Monday Mountains by an old Pygmy tribe. We had come at it from the other side of the mountain and down from the top but once we reached the spot above the waterfall, the men couldn’t see a way to get behind the falls so they decided to go down to the bottom and try from a different pathway.
I saw what I thought could be a way down though and thought I could crawl through a gap in the rocks. I went to tell the captain but he’d already begun the hike back. I thought if only I could get behind the falls first and discover the treasure I’d be a hero and a true pirate so I started down on my own anyway. I made the climb down and got through the gap and found my way behind the falls. The cave was dark and my torch had got all wet from the spray of the falls so I couldn’t get it lit so I felt my way around and before I got too far in, I stepped into a giant trap with teeth of steel. A trap so big it could have killed a bear. It clamped down on my leg and it hurt real bad. I yelled real loud and then I blacked out. The next thing I remember is the captain and the others had found me and got the trap off my leg. They took care of the bleeding and got me back down the mountain and on the ship. The rest of the guys stayed behind and found the treasure! They said there were traps set all over the entrance of the cave and once they made their way to the back there were two skeletons chained to a giant wood chest. The chest was full of fancy weapons but all of them were really tiny on account of belonging to Pygmies. So, seeing as I’m not all that big and I lost my leg and was the first one to get behind the waterfall, the captain said I could keep the treasure. All of it for myself! I‘ve been using the weapons mostly to train the squirrels in fighting techniques. I trained Scally! I didn’t get my leg back but the guys made me a real nice one out of an old boot that the captain says belonged to one of the finest captains he ever knew. The one he got the Red Feather from. It’s a little big now, but I’ll grow into it.” Bootleg smiled so big I thought his face would split in half. Then he grabbed his mug and started licking the foam off the top of the ginger beer.
All of the other men, who’d become quiet while Bootleg told his story, now held up their mugs and shouted “To Bootleg!”
“Thank you for telling me your story! I’m so sorry you lost your leg, you’re quite brave!” I said to Bootleg. “It’s lovely to meet you all.” I nodded “It’s been a year since I was here last so I thought I’d come for a visit. I’ve recently started my own clothing business which has taken up a lot of my time but was finally able to get away and come back to see you.”
Just then, the gray, fluffy creature that had been digging around in the fireplace, leaped out to the middle of the floor and up onto the bar, which it ran across then jumped onto the captain’s shoulder. I had no idea what the creature was and let out a small scream and jumped back from the bar.
Everyone else went back to talking loudly, plunking the piano and slurping mugs of sasparilla and ginger beer.
“Stockings! Why is your squirrel coated in ashes?” Shouted Solomon as his gaze followed a dusty, gray trail of small foot prints down the side of the bar and across the wood floor.
“Ah! He was still a bit damp fwom watah skiing when we awived. You know how ashes like to stick to damp things.” Answered Captain Stockings.
Solomon leaned towards me running a wet cleaning rag over the bar. “A word of advice for you Miss Smidge. When running your own business, never allow damp squirrels to rummage through your fireplace.”
I laughed. The creature was only Scally Wag. Captain Stocking’s squirrel who was part of his crew and a very good water skier. Truly, I’d seen it myself.
“Why was Scally digging in the fireplace?” I asked going over to pet the ash covered squirrel on the head.
“The boys told Scally that diamonds come fwom coal and that maybe if he sewched the coals in the fiweplace he’d come out wich. You know how my Scally loves tweasuah!” Explained the captain.
The squirrel began rubbing his paws over his face to wash the ash from it and was leaving gray and white smudges all over the captains jacket. The captain noticed and curling up his lip he swiped his hand over the smudges trying to brush them off. Picking up Scally by the scruff of his neck with two fingers, he set him gently on the empty stool next to him.
Seeing the jacket now dirty, I was reminded of the gift I’d brought for Captain Stockings. I hastily retrieved it from my bag and brought it over to him.
I cleared my throat. “I’ve brought you a gift Captain.” I said a little nervously knowing how picky he was about his clothing. Or at least his stockings.
Captain Stockings looked up surprised and then carefully took the paper wrapped package and began untying the string around it. Inside he unfolded the black tailored pirate coat that I had made and painstakingly glued and sewed bright red feathers all over, covering the black velvet fabric so that only bits of black peeked out through the feathers. I’d also sewn on little golden hook shaped buttons. I’d spotted them at Mr. Curmudgeon’s Haberdashery and they had made me think immediately of Captain Stockings.
The captain gasped, his mouth open wide as he felt the feathers and examined the buttons. Then he took off the jacket he was wearing and tried on the new one.
I blew out the breath I was holding with relief when I saw that the coat fit him. I hadn’t been sure of his exact size.
“Miss Smidge.” He said, now beaming. “You have excellent taste in the fashion of a captain. This will be pewfect fo the cwistening of the new dock! I shall weah it then and tweasuah it always!”
“Oh good! I wanted to give you something to thank you for giving me a ride aboard the Red Feather and helping me get to Thursday last year.” I told him.
He grasped my hand with both of his and shook it in thanks. Then he took off the new coat and folded it carefully back into the paper for safe keeping and put his old jacket back on. He stepped around to one of the small tables in the middle of the room and sat down.
“I’m afwaid I won’t be able to help you this time though my lady, as I’m dealing with a wathah full plate.” He said nodding his head down towards a plate heaped with steaming food that one of the men had just placed in front of him. He then began shoveling spoonfulls of said food into his mouth.
Scally chose that moment, while the captain was fully engrossed in his food, to slip his little paws into the captain’s jacket pocket and pull out several shiny, gold objects and then dashed across the room and out the door.
“I see Scally’s off to re-hide more treasure for you to find.” I commented, pointing at the door.
The captain barely looked up from his food and nodded.
Down the trail and ‘round the bend, the plain wood building with no visible windows or doors was located in Monday and once I reached the building I circled around to the back as this is where the entrance was.
Creaking open the wooden door, I was met with a very different scene than I had on my previous visit.
Where upon entering last time, there had been no one there other than Solomon Swear himself, with a roaring fire in the huge fireplace, I was now met by the sight and sounds of twenty or more people, all appearing to be men or boys of different ages.
Several were seated around one of the wooden tables playing a game of cards with a pile of coins and other odd items piled in the center. Three were squeezed together playing, or should I say ‘plunking’ the piano in the corner, several were lined at the front counter talking loudly and slapping each other on backs and one appeared to be digging through the cold ashes in the before mentioned fireplace along with an ashy, gray, fluffy creature that resembled an opossum.
As the door slammed shut behind me several heads turned my way.
“Miss Smidge!” Exclaimed Captain Stockings, the sandy haired pirate and captain of the ship the ‘Red Feather’ that had given me a ride along the River Wednesday last year. Jumping from his stool to greet me, he bent to kiss both of my cheeks but I dodged sideways at the second cheek as I spied something dangling off of his hook mustache.
“Ah. Apologies Captain. Hello! Uh, it seems there is something resembling . . . ah . . fish, caught on your left hook.” I said pointing to his upper lip.
“Wha?! . . . Fish?” He sputtered, crossing his eyes to look down his nose and grasp at the foul smelling bit.
“How on Ewth did that get thewe?” He asked in an accent all his own. He pulled the bit of fish off, careful not to unglue the gold hook making up the left half of his mustache and examining it, called out “Hewwing? Why I haven’t had hewwing since . . . since,” he paused as realization dawned on him, “Boys! He’s bested us again! Foolewy! Aha that boy! Don’t you see? We had hewwing in Tuesday! Young Tom has got one ovah on me again and none of you cawed to point out that I’ve had fish hanging fwom my mustache since Tuesday? I should thwow the whole lot of you ovah boawd!” Said Captain Stockings shaking his fist at the crowd.
At this all of the boys started mumbling and shuffling their feet and a few murmurs of “Didn’t notice it Captain!” and “Only paying attention to our work Captain!” were audible.
“Ah. Navah mind that! Well done on Tommy’s pawt! We’ll get him next time sneaky fellow.” The captain chuckled turning back to his stool and settling himself onto it.
“Next time for sure Captain!” cried several of the boys.
“Was noticing an odor Captain. Glad it’s not the stockings!” Whispered a smaller fellow who’d stepped up next to Captain Stockings.
“Wight you awe Bootleg. Smelly stockings awe fowbidden on my ship! Although, you noticed an oduh you say? I wouldn’t have noticed myself with the awthwitis in my nose aftah the accident . . . ahh . . . that explains all the attention Posi Howid’s been giving me these past few days! I thought he’d gwown a new appweciation for piwating! Dwatted fly was only aftah a bit of fish!”
I set my bag down beside the door and walked closer to the bar at the back of the room where I shook hands with Solomon Swear and told him I had indeed brought some of my cinnamon buns for him this time but as I looked around the room I realized I did not have enough to share with everyone.
“It’s quite a surprise to see you all here!” I exclaimed “ I don’t know that I’ve met most of you.” I looked at all of the unfamiliar faces but spotted the two gnomes who were part of Captain Stockings’ crew aboard his ship. I gave a little wave to Jack and Jacques, who both grinned back, showing their gold teeth, and nodded their heads in greeting.
I felt something nudge my shoulder and looked down to see the young boy peering up at my ears. He shyly looked away and then scurried over to the captain and whispered “Captain, she smells nice and she has really clean ears!”
My hands went to my ears self consciously.
The captain smiled and patted him on the head and said “Thank you boy. Life is not the same without the ability to smell. And clean eaws awe definitely a wawity awound hewe!” Then he turned to me.
“We awe having a pwe - celebwation celebwation.” Said Captain Stockings. “We awe opening up a new dock fo the Wed Feathah. It’s to be just inside Thuwsday at the spot we usually unload the smashed china dishes aftah sailing the wivah. The gwound beneath the dock and bwidge awe now covewed in colowful china, making it a stunning sight, so we’ve finished wepaiwing the old dock and will cwisten it the new ‘China Powt.” The captain gave a little bow at this as if finishing a performance. “We’ve been making the wounds acwoss the land spweading the news and awe now finishing up with this little pawty befowe the big gwand celebwation of the opening of the dock.” He cleared his throat. “ Miss Justa Smidge, meet some of the boys fwom Wednesday! That one ovah thewe at the piano is Twiggy Banks. Tone deaf but mastah twee house buildah.”
A slim fellow with messy, black hair turned on the piano bench and gave me a wink.
“. . .and that one’s Wusty Tawnish. He’s a good dansah but needs to wash his socks mowe often if you ask me.” The captain gave a disapproving nod to a short, red haired, chubby man sitting at the end of the bar.
The red haired man climbed down off his stool and came to shake my hand.
“It’s Rusty Tarnish ma’am “ he said with a wink “and I do enjoy dancing but mainly I make boots. And wear them over my socks which is the real problem the captain has with me.” He smiled and went back to his stool.
“Ah, yes.” I smiled back at him with a knowing look. “I do know how the captain likes to show off his handsome stockings by displaying them over his boots.”
“You’ve met Jack and Jacques and Scally whewevah he’s gotten off to and I have no idea who the west of these fellows awe.” continued the captain. “They just follow me awound because I’m populah.” With that he sat back on his stool.
“And . . . you said there’d be cake.” Said a gruff looking man with a bald head, his arms covered in tattoos.
“Hello!” called out the young boy who had been behind the bar helping himself to a frosty mug of ginger beer. “I’m Bootleg.”
He was a slim boy with curly black hair and tanned skin smudged with dirt and ash and I realized he’d probably been the figure digging through the fireplace when I‘d first arrived. He was missing a leg and in its place was a wooden peg with a large leather boot attached.
The captain saw me eyeing the boot and cleared his throat. Putting a hand on the boys shoulder he said “Yes, yes, we can’t fowget ow own Bootleg. One of the finest piwates in Wednesday. Lost his leg on one of our hunts fo tweasuah.”
“I can tell it Captain.” The boy cut in with a squeak to his voice “I can tell the story now.”
“If you want to Bootleg. You tell Miss Smidge yo stowy.” The captain gave him a wink and sat back down on his stool.
The boy climbed up to the stool beside the captain and set his mug on the bar then began. “We were out hunting for treasure. One in particular called The Chest of Piqueno Arma. We found out later that means ‘Small Weapon’. It was thought to be hidden behind the great waterfall on the far side of the Monday Mountains by an old Pygmy tribe. We had come at it from the other side of the mountain and down from the top but once we reached the spot above the waterfall, the men couldn’t see a way to get behind the falls so they decided to go down to the bottom and try from a different pathway.
I saw what I thought could be a way down though and thought I could crawl through a gap in the rocks. I went to tell the captain but he’d already begun the hike back. I thought if only I could get behind the falls first and discover the treasure I’d be a hero and a true pirate so I started down on my own anyway. I made the climb down and got through the gap and found my way behind the falls. The cave was dark and my torch had got all wet from the spray of the falls so I couldn’t get it lit so I felt my way around and before I got too far in, I stepped into a giant trap with teeth of steel. A trap so big it could have killed a bear. It clamped down on my leg and it hurt real bad. I yelled real loud and then I blacked out. The next thing I remember is the captain and the others had found me and got the trap off my leg. They took care of the bleeding and got me back down the mountain and on the ship. The rest of the guys stayed behind and found the treasure! They said there were traps set all over the entrance of the cave and once they made their way to the back there were two skeletons chained to a giant wood chest. The chest was full of fancy weapons but all of them were really tiny on account of belonging to Pygmies. So, seeing as I’m not all that big and I lost my leg and was the first one to get behind the waterfall, the captain said I could keep the treasure. All of it for myself! I‘ve been using the weapons mostly to train the squirrels in fighting techniques. I trained Scally! I didn’t get my leg back but the guys made me a real nice one out of an old boot that the captain says belonged to one of the finest captains he ever knew. The one he got the Red Feather from. It’s a little big now, but I’ll grow into it.” Bootleg smiled so big I thought his face would split in half. Then he grabbed his mug and started licking the foam off the top of the ginger beer.
All of the other men, who’d become quiet while Bootleg told his story, now held up their mugs and shouted “To Bootleg!”
“Thank you for telling me your story! I’m so sorry you lost your leg, you’re quite brave!” I said to Bootleg. “It’s lovely to meet you all.” I nodded “It’s been a year since I was here last so I thought I’d come for a visit. I’ve recently started my own clothing business which has taken up a lot of my time but was finally able to get away and come back to see you.”
Just then, the gray, fluffy creature that had been digging around in the fireplace, leaped out to the middle of the floor and up onto the bar, which it ran across then jumped onto the captain’s shoulder. I had no idea what the creature was and let out a small scream and jumped back from the bar.
Everyone else went back to talking loudly, plunking the piano and slurping mugs of sasparilla and ginger beer.
“Stockings! Why is your squirrel coated in ashes?” Shouted Solomon as his gaze followed a dusty, gray trail of small foot prints down the side of the bar and across the wood floor.
“Ah! He was still a bit damp fwom watah skiing when we awived. You know how ashes like to stick to damp things.” Answered Captain Stockings.
Solomon leaned towards me running a wet cleaning rag over the bar. “A word of advice for you Miss Smidge. When running your own business, never allow damp squirrels to rummage through your fireplace.”
I laughed. The creature was only Scally Wag. Captain Stocking’s squirrel who was part of his crew and a very good water skier. Truly, I’d seen it myself.
“Why was Scally digging in the fireplace?” I asked going over to pet the ash covered squirrel on the head.
“The boys told Scally that diamonds come fwom coal and that maybe if he sewched the coals in the fiweplace he’d come out wich. You know how my Scally loves tweasuah!” Explained the captain.
The squirrel began rubbing his paws over his face to wash the ash from it and was leaving gray and white smudges all over the captains jacket. The captain noticed and curling up his lip he swiped his hand over the smudges trying to brush them off. Picking up Scally by the scruff of his neck with two fingers, he set him gently on the empty stool next to him.
Seeing the jacket now dirty, I was reminded of the gift I’d brought for Captain Stockings. I hastily retrieved it from my bag and brought it over to him.
I cleared my throat. “I’ve brought you a gift Captain.” I said a little nervously knowing how picky he was about his clothing. Or at least his stockings.
Captain Stockings looked up surprised and then carefully took the paper wrapped package and began untying the string around it. Inside he unfolded the black tailored pirate coat that I had made and painstakingly glued and sewed bright red feathers all over, covering the black velvet fabric so that only bits of black peeked out through the feathers. I’d also sewn on little golden hook shaped buttons. I’d spotted them at Mr. Curmudgeon’s Haberdashery and they had made me think immediately of Captain Stockings.
The captain gasped, his mouth open wide as he felt the feathers and examined the buttons. Then he took off the jacket he was wearing and tried on the new one.
I blew out the breath I was holding with relief when I saw that the coat fit him. I hadn’t been sure of his exact size.
“Miss Smidge.” He said, now beaming. “You have excellent taste in the fashion of a captain. This will be pewfect fo the cwistening of the new dock! I shall weah it then and tweasuah it always!”
“Oh good! I wanted to give you something to thank you for giving me a ride aboard the Red Feather and helping me get to Thursday last year.” I told him.
He grasped my hand with both of his and shook it in thanks. Then he took off the new coat and folded it carefully back into the paper for safe keeping and put his old jacket back on. He stepped around to one of the small tables in the middle of the room and sat down.
“I’m afwaid I won’t be able to help you this time though my lady, as I’m dealing with a wathah full plate.” He said nodding his head down towards a plate heaped with steaming food that one of the men had just placed in front of him. He then began shoveling spoonfulls of said food into his mouth.
Scally chose that moment, while the captain was fully engrossed in his food, to slip his little paws into the captain’s jacket pocket and pull out several shiny, gold objects and then dashed across the room and out the door.
“I see Scally’s off to re-hide more treasure for you to find.” I commented, pointing at the door.
The captain barely looked up from his food and nodded.
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